One of our jobs as parents is to raise independent, productive members of society.
When they are small they are totally dependent on you. As they get older, slowly, that dependency decreases. Does that mean our job is over?
Another part of parenting is making sure our children have an appropriate education and attending Parent-Teacher conferences is a great way to make sure that is happening.
Parent-Teacher conferences can be such a joy to attend when kids are young.
You walk in to the welcoming classroom adorned by bright and creative artwork. You are approached by the teacher who comes with a smile on their face and an outstretched hand. They show you a folder of your child’s accomplishments and you leave with a feeling of pride. Even if they say your child moves around too much or talks too much, they can still find positive things to say.
Fast forward to the secondary years. You move from teacher to teacher in a crowded gymnasium (or hallway) to see how your child is doing. Are they missing assignments, can they handle the course load? You leave feeling overwhelmed but optimistic that things will improve now that you have been given the tools needed for your child to succeed.
Many parents decide that conferences are not as important once kids reach the secondary years. However, what that student needs to see is that they have a support system. They need to see that they have parents and teachers who care about their education.
As they get older they may not want to attend conferences with you. So why should you bring the sullen grumpy teen that would rather be with their friends or watching Netflix?
- It’s so valuable to see how your child speaks to an adult on their own behalf.
- A teacher gains a different perspective by watching the parent / student dynamic.
But most of all…
You are empowering them by standing by their side and letting them lead the conversation. You are creating an advocate in your child by letting them make decisions in their education.
Thank you for being an involved parent and making the extra time to attend conferences with you child. They may not thank you today but it will leave a lasting impact on them.
When I was in high school I remember a lot of kids who were “A” honor roll students. I also remember many who got B’s. But a large majority of the kids were pretty average and got a lot of C’s.
These kids weren’t in danger of failing out.
They were the majority of the kids in the school.
They were your average high school student – “C” students.
Fast forward to now. When a student is getting C’s people start to worry about them.
“Surely they can do better.”
But maybe not.
When I was a senior in high school in 1991 I took Algebra 2. Now, there are 8th graders taking these classes. The 8th graders in 1991 were content working on their pre-algebra. Pre-algebra has now shifted to elementary schools. Those same 8th graders are now taking Pre-ACT tests. That was not even on my radar at that age.
So what has changed?
I’d like to think that kids now are much smarter than I was. However, I don’t think that’s the case.
Should a “C” student feel shamed when they are doing their best work. Students are like babies. Some are more advanced and do things earlier while others make their way along slower.
Will we go back to how it was? I doubt it. I just hope that as kids are encouraged to succeed at a younger and younger age that there are people out there who remember that not everyone can be that “A” student and even “C” students can end up doing fabulous things and being successful people.
As parents it our jobs to advocate for our kids when they can’t and teach them to advocate for themselves. Regardless of their achievement level they all need someone in their corner.
I never thought that I would be the parent of a teen driver. Not that I didn’t expect my kids to get older, but I really hadn’t thought that far in advance. It seems that yesterday they were in grade school.
After passing the drivers test many parents have a set of keys ready to give their new driver.
I had the keys.
I had a lanyard like the kids at the high school hang their keys on.
I gave them to him.
I feel like a new parent. Where’s the manual for parenting a teenage driver?
Fast forward almost one month and he slides on the ice and hits a tree.
Airbags deploy on the rusty minivan. The van is totaled but all I can think is how bad it could have been. This privilege that he was given could have killed him. He was ok; Not hurt at all.
So now it feels like there’s second chance to get it right. Start slow with a bit of fear (on both of our parts). More practice.
Remind him that he is 16 and he doesn’t know it all. Remind myself that even though I am an adult that I also have so much more to learn.
The manual has yet to be written.
I was so excited to present my family with a gift… a kitten. They were so excited to have the new little puffball enter our lives. Well, almost all of them.
But what about when one family member doesn’t agree with how the others in the family live. Yes, we already have a cat and a dog – I can see where this does seem like excess to you. You live very minimally and do not put much value into material items. You see the holiday season how many outside the U.S. see our holiday season. A season of excess.
As a fellow minimalist, I can see how having more than one of something seem like too much.
Is a kitten a material thing? I guess that’s the question. You have always been the kid with so much caring and love for your family. I’ve been so proud that you are an individual and don’t feel the need to follow the crowd. You see things very differently than others your age and many times have an older, wiser perspective.
So, we will introduce you to the new little kitty slowly and I know that the caring and sensitive person you are will end up loving that little ball of fur more than you do your computer games.
Seriously… I read this book cover to cover. Usually when I pick up a parenting book I skip around and find what I need.
“Do I get my allowance before or after I’m grounded?” by Vanessa Van Petten was one of the most engaging parenting books I’ve read. I love how she speaks to parents on their level (ok, my level). The book isn’t clinical and gives real solutions for realistic problems that families with teens have. From school, to lying, to drugs and alcohol there are talking points for families as well as personal challenges at the end of each chapter.
My favorite part is how to tell if your teen is lying. The book gives great tools to interpret your teens’ body language.
Watch out kids! I’ve got some new tools!
To blog or not to blog that was the question.
The answer “Why Not!”
So here I am and I hope that you will be able to get some good info from my blog as well as a few smiles. Life can be crazy and I know it. Balancing home and work. Dealing with the kids, school, sports and all of the obligations that pull us in every way can be such a challenge.
I hope to give you information that you can use in supporting your kids at school, as well as home, while sharing some of my life’s quirky day to day goings on.
Sit back, but don’t forget to check that backpack…. you never know what you’ll miss.